Not She Who Wanders

2021

January Playlist: Boys World, aespa, + More!

February 07, 2021

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2020

Making My 2021 Mood Board + Review of My 2020 Mood Board

Hi, there. It's me. Your favorite neighborhood homebody. I really hope that 2021 has been a good year to all of you so far, even though now apparently there's a super string of the virus so that's just great now, isn't it? Anyway, after the year we all had to deal with last year, I wanted to make some goals for myself that would kind of reset my mindset a little bit and push myself harder and give myself some even bigger goals for 2021.

2021 isn't just going to magically be a better year than 2020. Yes, it still might suck right now in your mind, but you have to make it a great year. It's all about your mindset, my loves. You have to wake up every morning and tell yourself that it's going to be a good day, that you're going to achieve so much more than you thought you would be capable of. I know it sounds a little dumb or silly, but that's what it's going to take to make 2021 an AMAZING year.

I set some pretty big goals for myself for last year, knowing I probably wouldn't be able to achieve it but my goodness, was I going to give it my all and hope for the best. I was ready for a lot of the goals I wanted to achieve and the things I wanted to have in my life and I was determined to just keep trying and hoping and working hard for everything I wanted. And by the end of the year, I couldn't believe what I had accomplished from my 2020 mood board, it was crazy.

I'll be reviewing my mood board from last year later in the post or you can just skip to it right now if you'd like. But first, let me start off with my process for making my 2021 mood board and how I made it. After that, we'll get into which goals I set for myself and what they all personally mean to me. LET'S GET STARTED!

So first off, you're gonna want to write down all your goals. Grab a notebook, a piece of paper, your phone, whatever will help to note those goals of yours. I like the idea of writing down all your goals inside a notebook, that way you have them all written out into a list that you can keep with you throughout the year and even have it as a reminder.

Once you have all those goals written out, print out pictures that correspond with those goals. Whatever the image is, as long as it makes sense to you and you understand what it means, print it out! Once you have all those images, grab a corkboard, memo board, piece of cardboard, canvas, whatever you want to use as your mood board. Just make sure you can easily hang it so you can look at it every day. That's important.

Now you can start gluing your pictures however and wherever you want onto your board. I decided to plan out my mood board and divide it into sections. One for money and financial goals, one for my "in progress" goals, one for my traveling goals, and finally one for my personal/dating life. I pretty much covered all the basis there.

For my financial and money goals, I wanted to shoot for the stars. Why not dream big? Even if I'm not able to achieve those goals, just having it set for myself and focusing on making it a reality is enough for me to feel proud that I stayed determined to make my goals a reality. My goals are as follows:

1. Buy my dream car (cash and without a car payment

2. Buy a house or be able to move out on my own (no roommate!)

3. Be financially successful (not have to worry about bills and just being comfortable)

4. Save a certain amount of money in my savings account

5. Buy a Chanel purse, wallet, etc. (treat yoself)

6. Be like Amber Scholl (she's literally so sweet, kind, and giving)

None of these goals are vain or materialistic in my mind. If I don't end up with a Chanel purse this year, I'm pretty sure I'll live. They're just goals I would love to have for myself, my number one being financially comfortable. I want to be able to no longer worry about money or stress about paying a bill. It's a financial goal I would love to achieve for myself and I'm determined to work hard for it.

For my "in progress" goals, those are ones I currently have been or are working towards since last year. They're more "every day" goals that are ones I've been focusing on for a minute but I still want to remind myself to keep working towards them. Those are as follows:

1. Get fit: *cue picture of Chloe Ting

2. Travel (if it's safe)

3. See BTS in concert (because covid canceled that last year)

4. Get a dog (there's a story I'll get into later)

5. GET MORE PLANTS (basically turn my place into a greenhouse)

I got really good at making workouts a habit once we were all in lockdown. I worked out almost every day, started eating great, and stuck with it for almost 5 months! I could feel myself getting stronger in my legs and arms, and I felt good. I mastered planks and my abs were feeling tighter. But then I stopped, got lazy, started working more on other things. AND I'M TIRED OF IT. I have all my workout gear ready, just bought some new sports bras. It's go time.

I also want to travel this year, again, if it's safe. The reason why this one is in my "in progress" goals is that I'm actually already planning a trip somewhere with my sister. We want to travel to Europe this year, if everything works out and it's safe for us to travel, we'll already have things figured out. So here's to hoping!

BTS Love Yourself World Tour 2018

I also do have BTS concert tickets, but of course, since the tour was canceled last year due to covid, the tickets are now going to be redeemable for their rescheduled tour date. I've heard rumors of them potentially being rescheduled for this year so I guess we'll see what happens. My army bomb is ready.

I also want to get and KEEP a dog this year. Yeah, there's quite a story to that one. I actually did get a dog back in October and she was the sweetest little puppy. She was REALLY needy and needed a lot of discipline since her old owner, only did so much as potty train her. She didn't know right from wrong so it was basically teaching her from scratch. However, I only had her for a month before I no longer had her. I'm just gonna say it DEFINITELY wasn't my choice to give her away. I came home one day and she was gone. I still have all her stuff like her kennel, blankets, toys, etc. So I'm luckily already prepared for another dog, this time I want to wait until the summer or later this year to get another dog so I can have time to get settled and everything. I have some plans for this summer so stay tuned!

So now for my travel goals:

1. Go on a road trip (with the girls)

2. Get a tattoo

3. Go back to Puerto Rico

4. Focus on my art

So a couple of these aren't exactly travel related. But I put them in this section because, for me, traveling also means to just be free-spirited and see where life takes you. I would love to get a micro tattoo because I don't know my pain tolerance and needles are scary. And as for my artwork, who knows where that could take me once I actually refocus on work on my passions again.

I miss Puerto Rico so much, and I'm aching to go back there! I have a full post on my trip there which you can read if you're interested! I took that trip during a very rough time in my life and it was so therapeutic to get away from everything for a little bit. I felt so refreshed and I was able to just focus on life for a few days, realizing that my heartbreak and pain really wasn't going to last forever and that there's so much life out there that I needed to see and experience. It became almost a magical place for me so I would love to go back to Puerto Rico, a place that honestly helped me heal, and just say thank you and experience it again with new eyes and a happier me.

The last few goals for 2021 are a little sappy but they come from a deeper place in my heart. They are as follows:

1. Open myself up to someone special

2. Stop being afraid of love and "I love you"s

3. Fall in love again

4. Potentially meet (or if I've already met him) my future husband

5. Ride a Ferris wheel (because I've never gotten on one)

At the end of 2019, I experienced probably the biggest heartbreak I've ever had in my life. I cried for weeks, the pain was just so overwhelming and I thought for a second the pain might actually kill me. I struggled for months to get over the person who made me so happy and it was hard. I was numb for a long time and I didn't even realize it. Over the summer, I had to hit the restart button. I was using everything as a distraction because I didn't want to face the pain. But it got to the point where not facing it was only hurting me more than I realized. So, I focused on myself. I cut some things and people off that weren't good for me and surprisingly, after a month of just being alone and focusing on me, I actually felt happy.

I felt like I was getting somewhere, I started to feel like myself again and I was loving the path I was on, all the blessings I was receiving and had been praying and hoping for. Of course, most of these things aren't romance-related necessarily. If I'm going to fall in love again, I want it to be real, with either a person, a passion, or with myself. I want to be able to look back next year find that I was able to let someone in again, learned how to better love myself, and if I'm going to meet someone special, be able to open up to them.

Recap Of My 2020 Mood Board

Now for the recap. So what actually did I achieve in the year? Did I achieve anything? A couple things? Well, let's take a look, shall we?

2020 Goals:

1. Travel

2. Buy a car

3. Move out with my best friend

4. Be more minimal

5. Dye my hair green

6. Start a blog

7. Paint more, focus on my artwork

8. Meet someone special, fall in love maybe

9. Get a dog

10. Let the pain go

I don't have pictures of everything, of course. But I did buy a car actually on the first day of 2020, then booked my flight to Puerto Rico literally 24 hours later. That was pretty crazy.

I did also dye my hair green, that was fun. Of course, I started this blog and put a lot of energy into it hoping someone out there hopefully relates to my content or just wants something nice to read in the morning with a cup of coffee in hand. Now, these are all the things I had on my board that I achieved. There were some things I wasn't able to, but that's okay.

I'm proud of myself for having achieved as much as I did and I think I had a pretty good year considering how much went down last year. The world is crazy, chaotic, and it doesn't always work with our plans and hopes. But you have to keep going and not let anything stop you from having the life you dreamed of and you just have to go for it, no matter what. You can make the life you've always wanted. It might not be easy, it might not even be as great as you imagined. But I promise you, it's going to be so worth it. Trust me.

January 24, 2021

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lifestyle

Bomb Recipe: White Chocolate and Macadamia Nut Cookies

January 10, 2021

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2020

An Honest Catch-Up + Where I've Been . . .

Alright, y'all. Time for a little heart to heart. I'm gonna try to keep all my snarky little comments and sayings in here as much as possible so that way this TED talk is just a little bit more entertaining. You're welcome. So grab a cup of tea or some coffee, maybe a snack or two. Possibly a bagel. Whatever floats your boat whenever you read a blog post.

Anyhoo, let's get this started, shall way? So. I think it's safe to say that this year didn't go as planned for . . . well . . . anyone. This year we all had goals like traveling, working, getting that promotion, adopting that dog, finally booking that flight, seeing that movie we looked forward to all year. And then the world went up in flames. Nothing was as it once was. It was like one day the world was normal and then we all woke up one day and everything changed. All of a sudden we were all locked up in our homes, losing touch with reality, discovering what it meant finally.

Some people thrived, they finally put up that painting, finally picked up that hobby they kept saying they were going to get to, painted that canvas, decorated that empty wall, organized every single closet and cabinet in the house. We all did those things. But as the world starts changing again, as we all move into a brand new reality, it hasn't been easy for everyone. In fact, some people are struggling more than others and that's perfectly okay. When things change as fast and as crazy as they have been, it's only normal to feel a little overwhelmed, to break down sometimes because to put it quite frankly, it's just too much sometimes.

So, I thought I would do an honest catch-up with everyone. I hope this inspires some of you out there, whoever you are, and that it lets you know you're anything but alone in how you're feeling right now. Cheesy, I know. But it's true. So I'll start. Monday was my 22nd birthday (*cue confetti*) and let me just say that where I was last year on my 21st birthday was SO DIFFERENT than where I am now. Last year, I had a really rough December. It continued on into January, February, March, and so on. Yes, I had my good moments, even great ones, where I was genuinely so happy. So happy that I didn't think it could get better than that. But I was struggling a lot. I won't too deep into it right now but I was heartbroken. I've never felt a pain like that before, and I've had my heart broken quite a few times in the past.

I was hopeful things would get better, and in some ways it did. It got easier. I know everyone always says it will get better, you'll stop crying one day. It won't hurt as much. One day, it will stop hurting. You'll forget you even cried. But my God what no one ever tells you is that it's going to hurt like HELL. Some days it'll feel like a numb pain, some days you'll be able to ignore it, other days you'll forget you were even hurting. But some days, you'll wonder if you even remember what it's like to be happy, wonder if you'll ever stop crying or feeling the pain. It sucked. I had ups and downs and I needed to be alone for a little while. I distanced myself from friends, completely gave up on dating, threw in the towel on a lot of other things. I had a strange way of coping. I filled my life with distractions.

I distracted myself with work, putting in a lot more hours, saving money, traveled, went to Puerto Rico, bought a car, changed my hair, did some shopping, moved out. I filled up my days with distractions so that I wouldn't feel or think. I just kept going. When really what I needed to do? Was cry. I needed to feel the pain. I needed to face it. The more I distracted myself from it, the more damage it was doing without me even noticing it at work. I kept myself going, yes. But not in a healthy way. Not in the way my mind and heart needed. It was only once I stopped, faced the facts, walked away from things, people, and whatever else was nothing more than a distraction and realized I wasn't okay. And that was perfectly okay.

Over the past couple of months, it's been a struggle to get back to normal again. I took a break from this blog in order to get my life back together, to take back some control. Everything was so unsure and I was scared of what the future had for me. I couldn't escape it. I couldn't just close my eyes or run to my parents or hide under a blanket. I had to face it. I had to take a step back and realize I was only hurting myself by trying to fix everything around me, fix everyone else's problems, make sure everyone else was okay. I forgot about myself. And it did a number on me. And when you struggle with mental health, that's probably the worst thing you can do. Forget about what YOU need, what YOUR BODY needs, what you need to do for YOURSELF to make sure you're okay.

It's okay to take a break sometimes. There are times where your brain is just so full of what's going on outside the comfort of your own home and you just need to take a step back, soak it all up, breathe, take a deep breath and realize that as crazy as life gets, life really is good. It's at your fingertips, it never left. It's just gonna take a couple more steps to get there is all. So, that's what I did, that's why this blog was quiet for so long. I needed to breathe for a little bit. Am I okay? Not completely. A little bit better, yes. This year on my birthday, I'm not sad, I'm not heartbroken, I'm not numb. This year, I'm not hurting myself, I'm not letting myself suffer because of heartbreak and sadness. I don't have tears ready to burst out of my at any given second. This year, I've grown up a little bit, I'm smiling, I'm laughing, I'm telling myself I need to go back to Puerto Rico and Paris, this year I'm trying to decide what I should get myself for my birthday (even though I've been buying "gifts" for myself for the past month). I'm in such a different place this year than I was the year before. It's crazy to think how much life changes, all around you and also for you.

So, I'm not going to promise that I'm back for good, I might have to take another break in the future. Hopefully for a happier reason. But this next year, I want to be able to do the same thing I did this year: reflect. I want to look back at the end of 2021 and say to myself "Wow, I achieved all this! Look where I am now!" I want to be just as amazed and as proud of myself as I am now, maybe more once my 23rd birthday rolls around. I'm excited for the future, as scary and unsure as it is, life keeps going. We keep growing. No matter what happens in the world, life keeps living. It keeps changing every single day. And I'm not about to miss out on a single moment of it.

December 20, 2020

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DIY

Winter Decor Ideas + DIY Thrift Store Finds!

Hi there. Hello. It's me. How you doing? This might be a little late and maybe slightly irrelevant now but I'm gonna write this post anyway cause I'm bored and need to get stuff done. So you're welcome. ANYWAY. I'm not really one to decorate for Christmas since I don't really celebrate it but I'm pretty sure it's simple enough to decorate for the holidays. I mean, it's literally everywhere. I haven't really seen that many ideas or pictures, however, of just simple winter decor. I wanted to decorate my apartment for the season but still be able to enjoy it for a few months instead of decorating only to have to take it all down in a couple weeks.

So. I decided to get creative and decorate for the season, Winter. Duh. I'm also pretty frugal and love me a good thrift store find so all the items and decor in this post are going to be mostly from the thrift stores or from the Dollar store. I love the Dollar Store. Someone, please sponsor me. Dollar Tree, I love you. Some things are pretty simple and straight forward and others require more of a unique touch but this is purely for inspiration. Maybe it'll inspire you to make your own DIY winter decor or repurpose something you already have in your home. Either way, enjoy!

I feel like starting with the DIY portions of this so we'll start with that. The first DIY I have is the cute little "log cabin" that I found at the thrift store. I paid a whopping $2 for it and it's actually a coin bank. There's no plug at the bottom of the bank but I bought it anyway because it was cute. That explains like half my life. Anyway, I'm going for a very neutral winter decor palette with lots of white, little pops of light blues, and maybe some gold and silver here and there. So I painted the cabin white, just one coat so the texture from the brush and the wood still peeked through and placed it on my dining table. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

I was a little sad when I thought it would've been cute had the cabin had a little "window" or some sort of cutout cause I could've put a little tealight. It would've looked so cozy and cute but hopefully, I can find something like that at Target. Now that I have the idea in my head, I need it to happen.

But I think it looks super cute on my table surrounded by all the plants and a couple candles and it makes me happy. Of course, you could paint it a different color or leave it plain if you happen to find your own little cabin or glue some things to it to make it look however you want.

The next DIY kind of stems from the cabin a little bit. I found this really cool candle holder thing at the thrift store for $1. It's metal and has a long handle and kind of reminded me of a lantern. I loved how it looked like a bunch of little logs or twigs all glued together and I thought about leaving it like this and putting a candle in it and just calling it a day. But I thought it was missing something. So I took the paintbrush I used to paint my cabin and just strictly using the leftover paint that was already on the brush, I swiped the brush all over the twigs so make it look like snow on the twigs and waited for it to dry.

A few days prior, my mom and I went to the park and gathered a few pinecones to use as decor. I cleaned the pinecones and put a handful in the candle holder and placed it outside to keep my plants company. I think it looks really cute and brings a little bit of winter onto the patio. Of course, I'm not done here with the patio but I'm loving seeing the little things kind of all start coming together.

Now onto some of my Dollar store DIYs. I love the dollar store, it's like a little wonderland every time I step inside and everything is just waiting there for me. One thing that I love doing that's super simple and nice is making a centerpiece for my dining table and patio table. I bought a couple of little glass vases and I've been loving them. They're a perfect size, not too tall and not too wide.

What I usually do is buy a bunch of the flowers the dollar store offers, usually my favorites are the ones they bring out for the holidays because of all the glitter and shine. I try to get a mix of flowers, some "berries" and little decorative sticks here and there to give the bouquet a variety of different textures and heights. You can mix colors, of course, but I like to stay with only one or two colors. I chose rose gold for my inside vase and more of a gold for the outside to make it a little brighter. Sometimes I like to fill the vase with mini decor they usually sell at the dollar store. For Halloween, I filled one vase with a bunch of glitter skulls so for winter, you could use a bunch of fake snow, cotton balls, mini snowflakes, or even those mini ornaments meant for mini trees.

So that's it for some simple and easy winter decor to have around the house! I hope some of these inspired you to create your own winter decor and get creative with the things you find or things you have around your house. Until next time!

December 13, 2020

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2020

Redoing My Bathroom On A Budget Part 1!

Hi, Hello there. I'm back. Again. So things have been a little bit busy for me as I'm starting to struggle with juggling work, fun, adulting, etc. It's been a little difficult to keep everything in order and I'm going to be honest, it's been stressful and draining. I've been letting a lot of things kind of slip or sit on the back burner.

It makes me pretty sad to know I haven't been giving my blog as much attention as I'm wanting to and I've been feeling a little bit defeated by the thought. I love my little blog even if there are only two humans that read it (hi, mom). But here's my attempt to try getting things back in order by bringing you a quick DIY bathroom makeover. On a budget, of course. We're not made of money. We just like to look like it. ENJOY!!

First thing's first, what my bathroom looks like currently. Well. not currently anymore but at the time before I changed it I mean. Anyhoo. I didn't really have much of a theme for my bathroom, just more of a color palette that I wasn't really feeling once I moved into my new apartment a few months back. I kept it for a while just thinking maybe I needed to just get used to my new space but as time went on, I just didn't love it anymore. I needed some change, as if I needed even more than I was already getting.

It felt cluttered and boring and too dark. I needed something lighter and cleaner and for some reason, I've become obsessed with having everything white. I just think it looks clean and organized as well as bright. The hardware and cabinets in my bathroom are pretty dark already so the black I had in my bathroom just made it so gloomy. It needed some light and love.

Obviously, I needed to hit up the thrift stores. The first few things I bought, were these two storage books and this little holder. I wasn't sure what theme at the time I was going to do for my bathroom but I knew I wanted to do mostly white accents. I knew I was going to paint them white so five dollars later, I was making progress.

Basically, these were going to be the very first things to jumpstart by bathroom makeover. I was getting inspired by the old classic feel both of these items had and I really wanted to do a theme that was different but also inspired by something I really love. I ended up finding some beautiful candle holders with crystals hanging from them in three different heights (forgot to take a picture of them but haven't used them yet in my bathroom so CHILL) and I thought it looked very Parisian. I actually have a sign in my bathroom that literally says my slogan in life "I'd Rather Be in Paris". And that's when I had my inspiration. I'd come up with my theme!

So as if it couldn't be more obvious, I decided I was going to do a Chanel theme for my bathroom. YAY. First, I started off with painting the logo and one side of this holder black to get things started. I also found this really cool vintage perfume bottle. Yay for fun unique things.

After I painted the holder, I went onto Pinterest, the holy grail, to figure out what I was actually going to do with it. I wasn't sure what to put in it so I did some digging and found so many beautiful pictures of people who made Chanel boxes, bags, etc, and filled them with white roses. I THOUGHT IT WAS GENIOUS. So I ran to the dollar store (I freaking LOVE that store) and bought some flowers.

Fun fact, the black roses were actually Halloween themed with eyeballs and spiders in between the petals but I popped those off to have just the plain black roses. But if you want to see what I did with all those, stay tuned on my blog *winks*.

Once I painted the book boxes, the holder and changed my shower curtain, my bathroom was pretty much done. TA-DA. Super short and sweet. Now I have plenty of other ideas I want to add into my bathroom so stay tuned for what I do next!

I kept the same black rugs and towels since it matched the Chanel theme but I'm so happy with how bright the curtain made my bathroom. It looks so much better and brighter now that there's a lot more white to balance out the dark finishes of the cabinets.

For my storage books, I put them on top of my jewelry box since the jewelry box comes off in layers so I don't have to constantly take the books on and off to get to my rings and things.

I also put my container of roses onto and added my perfume bottles (the only two I own) and I feel like it really pulled everything together nicely. I just love how my bathroom looks already and I'm excited to actually finish it off! I haven't been able to finish it quickly so hopefully, that will change as I have just a few more things I want to do to complete my bathroom and get it to exactly how I want it to look. But anyhoo, I really hope you guys enjoy this post and until next time!!