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 Alright, y'all. Time for a little heart to heart. I'm gonna try to keep all my snarky little comments and sayings in here as much as possible so that way this TED talk is just a little bit more entertaining. You're welcome. So grab a cup of tea or some coffee, maybe a snack or two. Possibly a bagel. Whatever floats your boat whenever you read a blog post.

Anyhoo, let's get this started, shall way? So. I think it's safe to say that this year didn't go as planned for . . . well . . . anyone. This year we all had goals like traveling, working, getting that promotion, adopting that dog, finally booking that flight, seeing that movie we looked forward to all year. And then the world went up in flames. Nothing was as it once was. It was like one day the world was normal and then we all woke up one day and everything changed. All of a sudden we were all locked up in our homes, losing touch with reality, discovering what it meant finally. 

Some people thrived, they finally put up that painting, finally picked up that hobby they kept saying they were going to get to, painted that canvas, decorated that empty wall, organized every single closet and cabinet in the house. We all did those things. But as the world starts changing again, as we all move into a brand new reality, it hasn't been easy for everyone. In fact, some people are struggling more than others and that's perfectly okay. When things change as fast and as crazy as they have been, it's only normal to feel a little overwhelmed, to break down sometimes because to put it quite frankly, it's just too much sometimes.

So, I thought I would do an honest catch-up with everyone. I hope this inspires some of you out there, whoever you are, and that it lets you know you're anything but alone in how you're feeling right now. Cheesy, I know. But it's true. So I'll start. Monday was my 22nd birthday (*cue confetti*) and let me just say that where I was last year on my 21st birthday was SO DIFFERENT than where I am now. Last year, I had a really rough December. It continued on into January, February, March, and so on. Yes, I had my good moments, even great ones, where I was genuinely so happy. So happy that I didn't think it could get better than that. But I was struggling a lot. I won't too deep into it right now but I was heartbroken. I've never felt a pain like that before, and I've had my heart broken quite a few times in the past.

I was hopeful things would get better, and in some ways it did. It got easier. I know everyone always says it will get better, you'll stop crying one day. It won't hurt as much. One day, it will stop hurting. You'll forget you even cried. But my God what no one ever tells you is that it's going to hurt like HELL. Some days it'll feel like a numb pain, some days you'll be able to ignore it, other days you'll forget you were even hurting. But some days, you'll wonder if you even remember what it's like to be happy, wonder if you'll ever stop crying or feeling the pain. It sucked. I had ups and downs and I needed to be alone for a little while. I distanced myself from friends, completely gave up on dating, threw in the towel on a lot of other things. I had a strange way of coping. I filled my life with distractions.

I distracted myself with work, putting in a lot more hours, saving money, traveled, went to Puerto Rico, bought a car, changed my hair, did some shopping, moved out. I filled up my days with distractions so that I wouldn't feel or think. I just kept going. When really what I needed to do? Was cry. I needed to feel the pain. I needed to face it. The more I distracted myself from it, the more damage it was doing without me even noticing it at work. I kept myself going, yes. But not in a healthy way. Not in the way my mind and heart needed. It was only once I stopped, faced the facts, walked away from things, people, and whatever else was nothing more than a distraction and realized I wasn't okay. And that was perfectly okay. 

Over the past couple of months, it's been a struggle to get back to normal again. I took a break from this blog in order to get my life back together, to take back some control. Everything was so unsure and I was scared of what the future had for me. I couldn't escape it. I couldn't just close my eyes or run to my parents or hide under a blanket. I had to face it. I had to take a step back and realize I was only hurting myself by trying to fix everything around me, fix everyone else's problems, make sure everyone else was okay. I forgot about myself. And it did a number on me. And when you struggle with mental health, that's probably the worst thing you can do. Forget about what YOU need, what YOUR BODY needs, what you need to do for YOURSELF to make sure you're okay. 

It's okay to take a break sometimes. There are times where your brain is just so full of what's going on outside the comfort of your own home and you just need to take a step back, soak it all up, breathe, take a deep breath and realize that as crazy as life gets, life really is good. It's at your fingertips, it never left. It's just gonna take a couple more steps to get there is all. So, that's what I did, that's why this blog was quiet for so long. I needed to breathe for a little bit. Am I okay? Not completely. A little bit better, yes. This year on my birthday, I'm not sad, I'm not heartbroken, I'm not numb. This year, I'm not hurting myself, I'm not letting myself suffer because of heartbreak and sadness. I don't have tears ready to burst out of my at any given second. This year, I've grown up a little bit, I'm smiling, I'm laughing, I'm telling myself I need to go back to Puerto Rico and Paris, this year I'm trying to decide what I should get myself for my birthday (even though I've been buying "gifts" for myself for the past month). I'm in such a different place this year than I was the year before. It's crazy to think how much life changes, all around you and also for you. 

So, I'm not going to promise that I'm back for good, I might have to take another break in the future. Hopefully for a happier reason. But this next year, I want to be able to do the same thing I did this year: reflect. I want to look back at the end of 2021 and say to myself "Wow, I achieved all this! Look where I am now!" I want to be just as amazed and as proud of myself as I am now, maybe more once my 23rd birthday rolls around. I'm excited for the future, as scary and unsure as it is, life keeps going. We keep growing. No matter what happens in the world, life keeps living. It keeps changing every single day. And I'm not about to miss out on a single moment of it.

1. Gunshot - KARD

3. Dynamite - BTS

5. Better - Khalid

7. Maria - Hwasa

9. Juice - Kris Wu

Hi, hello there. It's me once more. Back at it again sharing my fire playlists for the month and giving you endless entertainment and new jams for the summer. You're welcome. I just saved your life. I hope everyone is well and healthy and doing great as the world slowly goes back to a little bit of normalcy da by day.

I know these past few months and weeks have been quite hard on a lot of people and I'm here to say I was one of those. Sure, I know someone had it a little worse than I did. But what I've learned these past couple months is that it's okay to be a little sad sometimes. Disappointed. Lost. It's okay to feel alone and go through the motions so you can remind yourself that there's still some good to look forward to, even if it seems like it will never find you. Just keep going. Good things are happening and everything will fall into place the way it was meant to. Now, here's some songs to remind you of what a bad boss person you are. Enjoy my beautiful people!

1. Vices - Mothica

2. MTBD - CL

3. Don't Call Me Angel - Ariana Grande

4. Sweet 'n' Savage - Kxlly

5. Heartless - Fanny Isabella

6. On Top - Kxlly

7. I don't really like your boyfriend - Avenue Beat

8. NUNU NANA - Jessi

9. Not Your Barbie Girl - Ava Max

I've been having so much fun playing with different themes every month instead of just making my spreads look pretty. I love having specific color pallets and fonts to play with to not only challenge my creativity but also teach myself different fonts and inspire me to create more doodles in my journal. Not to mention it all looks cohesive and satisfying whenever I flip through the pages and see everything come together, it's quite nice.

But since I've been thinking of little things to do here and there and putting more of my energy into working on blog post ideas and decorating my new apartment, I decided to try out a weekly spread to help me keep track of different things I want to get done. I mainly use it as a daily to-do list and it's actually helped me stay on track of everything.

I like to play around with the different designs for my weekly spreads and I think I'm liking the thinner and longer columns for writing down my tasks every day. I also put a notes section on each week to keep track of any bills or things I need to take care of sometime within the week.

I usually don't watch TV so the only shows I watch are either on Netflix or Hulu so I thought it would be fun to look back on my shows that I completed.

I've also been loving the blogging spread because I can look at it every week and figure out which posts I want to go up when and also be able to write down little notes beside each post like what my favorite part of the post was or if there's anything I would like to add in the future to a similar post. I'm a visual person so I like to write things down and see it physically on a piece of paper. Call me old school but I'm going to embrace it.

My favorite tracker to keep up with is my workout and plant columns. I usually like to water my plants every two to three days depending on how dry their soil is so being able to look back on my trackers is a huge help so I don't accidentally overwater or underwater them.

And of course, who doesn't love a good quote page? This one, in particular, is pretty relevant and it's nice to be able to see it as a daily reminder that even when life feels overwhelming and hard, you're going to come out so much stronger and wiser at the end of everything. Mulan literally is so inspiring, like wow.

Like all kids, I slowly overtime stopped promoting my little business and found other things I wanted to put my energy towards, mainly choosing to focus on my artwork than jewelry making. As the years passed, I always missed it. I missed that excitement of creating something that you could show off every day and use. I don't know, there was something exciting about bringing creations to life and seeing new charms and findings that I could get creative with.


I never really returned to it until recently. A few weeks ago, I thought about potentially opening up an art print shop to get my artwork out there. I'm the artist that pretty much hates every single painting I create but then again, you're not an artist unless you want to burn your creation as soon as you finish it. It's the basic requirement, ask any artist friend you have. *Flips hair*. Anyhoo, I played around with the idea in my head but then quickly changed my mind as I don't like my paintings.

Maybe one day I'll have enough confidence to actually put up my artwork for sale, even if it's just prints. But upon going back and forth with the idea of opening an art shop, I couldn't stop watching videos of people creating and packaging their products for their Etsy stores. I fell in love with watching the process of filling orders, packaging items into cute little presents and shipping them off to God knows where in the world. It was intoxicating to me and I wanted to do that. I didn't even really have to sell prints if I didn't want to or wasn't comfortable with the idea yet. I could do something else. And then I found my old jewelry making supplies.

I began designing in my head what I wanted to create, what the purpose of my store would be, what it would be called and why I wanted to do this. Turns out, I stressed over it way too much since the answers were already there. Not She Who Wanders. Keep going. It was all so simple!

I designed my business cards and organized everything to the best of my abilities and began creating. And I forgot how much fun it actually was. The whole point of my blog and the title of it has always been to try whatever makes you happy and see where it takes you, no matter what people may think of you. Your life is yours and it's beautiful no matter what color, path, ethnicity or identity you come from. Life is confusing and messy and scary sometimes. It's unpredictable and uncertain and sometimes, really painful. But to get up and keep going is always going to be worth it. So follow your arrow wherever it's pointing and even when it starts to bend, keep going. Just because your path is always one you've followed, doesn't mean it's always going to be straight. There are bends and bumps in the road but it will always lead you to where you're meant to be. You just have to believe in yourself.

 The next thing I decided to try out was this basic little closet shelf that probably every person has except me and I am guilty of judging these things harshly because they're not cute. At least in my opinion but then again, who cares? It's supposed to make your life easier.

Anyhoo, this one was about $10 on Amazon as well and bought just one to see if I liked it or if it would work me. If I didn't like it or it didn't give me enough closest space, I had planned on giving it to my roommate or just returning it if she didn't want it either.

This one has 5 shelves and also has six pockets on the side of the shelf, 3 on either side. I liked that the material appeared a little thicker and once I actually got it in, it was pretty sturdy and easy to install. It has a metal brace on the top to keep the shelf from losing its shape and it fits nicely in my closet.

I folded up some items that I didn't really reach for that often but don't necessarily want to pack away for the summer. On the top shelves I folded up my sweatshirts since I sometimes reach for them if I get cold or want to chill outside at night on my patio.

I also folded up my hoodies and thinner sweaters and finally, folded up my sweatpants and loungewear on the bottom shelf. I reach for my sweatpants quite often whenever I'm just chilling at home and don't really have plans for the day or I just want to be comfy while I work on my blog, cleaning, errands around the house, etc.

I also slid my belts into the side pockets and I'm actually really happy about the pockets. I didn't think I would use them but now I don't have to buy an organizer for all my belts and my most worn ones are in the top two pockets.

I liked this organizer so much that I decided to get a second one for my miscellaneous items that I didn't want to put away or put in my under-the-bed organizer as I still reach for them enough to keep them in my closet.

On the top shelves, I folded up my "nice tees" that I had hanging, they're either very oversized that I like to wear as dresses or they have some sort of tie or nicer detailing on the front. I also folded up a couple of concert tees since I don't want those getting wrinkled. They were EXPENSIVE, okay?

The next two cubes I folded up my work uniforms (since I won't be needing those for a while *cries in 32 languages*) and also folded my workout leggings and jackets since I always seem to struggle to find those when they're hanging.

The last cube I used for my pajamas instead of just throwing them on the floor of my closet because that's not cute. It's quite nice having a specific place to put my pj's to keep them clean and easily accessible. Check out this organizer here for your purses, shoes, clothes, or whatever else you want to organize: 5 Shelf Hanging Closet Organizer.

 Finally, after hanging up my shelves, I slipped in my shoe rack and place all my remaining shoes onto the rack that I didn't have room for on the shelf in my room. I actually moved my shoes around a bit from that shelf to this one and vice-versa. Mostly all my everyday shoes are now on this rack in my closet like my sneakers, Vans, and sports shoes.

I also used the top and very bottom shelves for my boots. The bottom two shelves hold my "season round" boots as I like to say and the top shelf holds my fall and winter boots like my cowboy boots and knee-highs. I really like how my closet looks now as there's nothing on my floor anymore save for a couple of boxes with my heavy winter wear packed away. But other than that. my closet is where I would like for it to be for now. Eventually, I would like to reorganize my purses but we'll get to that later

I hope you all enjoyed organizing with me and hopefully, this gives you some ideas on how to organize your own closet or room or whatever since I know I always get the sudden urge to organize everything in my apartment after watching an organizing video at 2am. Like a normal human. Anyhoo, stay tuned for more posts and let me know what you want to organize in your own life, I would love to know. Until next time!