Making My 2020 Mood Board
So 2019 was both the best and the worst year of my life. That's not me being dramatic at all, it truly was a roller coaster of ups and downs, more ups than 2018 that's for sure. I got to accomplish a lot of things in the year of 2019 that I will never forget. I had a lot of growing up, a lot of healing and learning more about myself, I met a lot of amazing people that will always have a place in my heart and I got to achieve one of my biggest dreams, going to Paris, France. LIKE WHAT?!
It was the most amazing week of my life and I'm so sad I came back, I should've stayed! But while this was an absolutely amazing experience, there was some bad things too in the year, most recently it felt like everything was falling apart all around me beginning in early October.
I had to walk away from a lot of people this year that had only hurt me time and time again, broken my trust and simply felt like I was no longer important to them. It was heartbreaking. Most recently, I'm having to move on from an almost one year relationship that had such an unexpected ending and it frankly shattered my heart. Things have been going on in my personal life and it can be really hard some days to stay positive and look forward to the future when it feels like you're not going to be okay ever again.
Last year was just as rough but, I'm so thankful for the year I've had. I learned a lot of things about myself and I was able to realize that I deserved better than what I had in my life. I was taught that I deserved to be happy, deserved to have good people in my life and that I didn't deserve to be used, manipulated or lied to. And for that, I will ALWAYS be thankful. So that's why this year, for 2020, I'm going to make my mood board!
I've always seen mood boards floating around on Pinterest and Tumblr, but never really looked into them before. Recently I've been seeing quite a lot of mood-board-making videos on YouTube so I thought that maybe it was something I should learn more about. Mood boards are based on "The Law Of Attraction." This simply means that whatever you put out into the universe, you will then receive. In other words, you will gain and achieve your goals if you believe it already exists. I did achieve a lot of dreams of mine in 2019, but I also put a lot of them on the back-burner and put my life on hold because other people needed me or I felt the timing wasn't right or I simply felt like it was a waste of time to even try going for these goals. Which is never a good thing to do seeing as your life is in your hands and if you can't believe in yourself, then who will?
I wanted my mood board to have every big goal of mine that I knew I wanted to achieve or at least try going for in the year of 2020. I have small things such as dying my hair a different color or adopting a dog, all the way up to big goals such as traveling to New York City with my best friend and traveling overseas to either London or Italy.Of course I have some fun things too that I would love to achieve, such as seeing my favorite group perform in concert once again!
My goals for 2020 are as follows:- Be more of a minimalist.
- Focus on my photography.
- Dye my hair Emerald Green.
- Adopt a Husky!
- Move out into my own apartment (with my bff!)
- Get my dream car.
- See BTS perform on their 2020 Tour.
- Travel to a different country.
- Go to New York City with my best friend.
- Study ART in college.
- Learn to let things go.
- Be thankful for what people have taught me.
- Be more creative, unapologetically.
- Fall in love again.
- Live everyday fearlessly.
- Put more love into the world.
As you can see, it's a mix of big and small goals, some easily achievable and others that will take a lot of hard work, time and money. But, every single goal is what I believe I will achieve in the year of 2020. I've always had issues on learning to accept changes, even though I'm good at adapting. I've also hard a very hard time letting things and people go. I hate letting go of people, leaving them in my past, because even though they might have hurt me or left me so easily, I still love and care about them. I don't know how to close up my heart to people who have hurt me or to anyone really. I always wear my heart on my sleeve because that's just the kind of person I am, I refuse to stop loving people and caring. I know that this can bring me such unbearable pain, but there's too little love in the world and I want to continue to spread it and give it my all.
I want to focus on self-growth this year more than anything. I want to learn how to accept the way things are and simply say "Thank you for the memories" to the people who have left me and I pray everyday that they find everything they're looking for. It can be hard to let things go, to heal from the pain, to move forward, but that shows strength. If you're struggling to move on from something or someone, please remember that the pain will eventually fade and make you stronger. It sounds impossible and trust me, I didn't think I would ever heal. But I have and I still am and everyday gets a little easier and I get a little happier. This mood board is a constant daily reminder of that and I'm excited to see what 2020 has in store for me. Keep going! 
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